Thursday, January 23, 2014

Fear of the Unknown

So, we decided to be honest and upfront about our struggles... with everyone.  To say I am scared to death is an understatement.  All the comments I have heard over the years have come rushing back to me in the last few days as I contemplated this decision.  I say *I* because B has always wanted to be upfront about our struggles, but I didn't.  I was too scared of the comments, the judgment, the talking behind our backs.  B pointed out that this happened anyway, and at least this way, we could confront people head on.  If they wanted to know something, they could just ask.  No more secrets.  No more hiding.  No more hurting in silence.

So, we are going to email our family and friends first, then put it out there for the world.  My hopes are that others can seek comfort in our story and share their stories with confidence.  Infertility is a heartbreaking diagnosis, and not one that should be kept quiet or shunned.  People need to be educated, not left to their ignorance. By just one family talking about their struggles, it opens the door for more and more to share theirs.

I don't know what is going to happen when we share this.  I am hoping for love and support, not pity and shame.  I am hoping that once people know what we are going through, they will stop and think about the ugly and hurtful things they say, and have said in the past, and recognize that it is NEVER okay to judge someone for their beliefs and wants.  Sometimes things are best left unsaid, because the pain you are causing someone is unforgettable, and can continue to haunt them for many years.

It's time to stop the silence. It's time to be true to who we are.

We are unable to have kids naturally.  That is who we are, and that is who we will always be.  The question is, are you ready to accept that?